A Cosmology of Belonging
A Cosmology of Belonging
restoring kinship with Self, others, the living Earth, and the Sacred
Whether you’re in kindergarten or Congress, we all want to belong. Humans are hardwired to live in community. To live in kinship with others, even at the expense of Self.
But what does it mean to belong?
And who gets to decide who qualifies for belonging?
Especially for women, belonging is inextricably tied to conforming. The more we conform, the more we are rewarded for supporting the world as it is—business as usual. We’re rewarded for not making waves. For not asking for too much. For not taking up too much space. Regardless of whether or not these choices support our becoming.
Why do we do things that harm us? That limit our ability to achieve our full potential? That cause deep dissatisfaction and unhappiness?
Because the more we conform, the more we are told we belong.
As I’ve read and explored, I’ve begun to see something deeper, something more foundational. It was like trying to grab a beach ball with one hand. I could sense a larger pattern beneath the questions, but I could not yet name it. Each time I reached for it, it seemed to move just beyond my grasp. Exploring this call to go deeper, I’m starting to discover something of essence to human existence. And it led me to realize a deeper truth. Not The Truth. But a truth—a lens through which we can observe and understand the world and our place in it. I call this
a cosmology of belonging
A cosmology helps us answer big questions about how we got here, our purpose in being alive, and how we understand the world around us. Cosmology helps us create order and psychological safety in an unruly universe. Cosmology often creates bridges between our human existence, unseen forces, and the realms of Sacred.
Cosmologies are carried through myths and stories. They help us express abstract ideas, transmit values, and share beliefs. To explain what appears to be unexplainable. To bear what feels unbearable. Myths, stories, even cosmology vary by culture. Yet beneath these cultural differences, I believe there is a shared human longing: to belong.
Belonging with Self—Identity is a form of belonging with the Sovereign Self.
Belonging with Others—Attachment and bonding between infant and mother, our first place of belonging, is critical for healthy development. As we grow, this expands to family, friends, and community.
Belonging with the Living Earth—Across cultures, we recognize a connection to the living Earth, the human desire to sow seeds, to tend plants, to spend time in the forest.
Belonging with the Sacred—Across time and space, from the handprints on the wall in the Sulawesi Caves in Indonesia to the Vatican, we carry a sense of a presence that is both comforting and unknowable.
I believe that beneath our glorious cultural diversity lie a handful of human universals. We all seek belonging. We all form relationships. We all make meaning. We all live in relationship with the more-than-human world. And throughout history, human beings have reached toward what we experience as Sacred. This cosmology is still unfolding, but several ideas seem critical
Original Belonging—Belonging is something we remember—separation and brokenness are illusions.
The Four Great Alienations—Much of modern suffering arises from ruptures in belonging.
The Glass Cradle™— Women’s identities are shaped by invisible cultural stories that damage belonging with Self and others.
The Spiral of Reclamation™—We revisit thresholds throughout our lives, reclaiming deeper expressions of wholeness and belonging.
Wild Becoming—The living world is an important teacher, companion, and participant in our becoming.
Spiritual Cartography—Our lives become a map, guiding us home to the Sovereign Self.
Tikkun Olam—Personal healing and the healing of our communities are inseparable.
In the weeks ahead, we will begin at the beginning—with Original Belonging. We’ll explore the possibility that belonging is not something we develop but something we remember, something we are born carrying. And that separation and brokenness are illusions.
Big ideas have arrived over the past two months. And I continue to listen for what they want to become. For now, I invite you to begin with two questions. Because maybe we are struggling with the same unnamed things.
Where do you belong without having to earn it?
What have you surrendered for the sake of belonging?
Coming Next: Original Belonging—dismantling the illusions of separation and brokenness
